We can’t have the relationship we would like to have with our children anymore, but we can try to still have a meaningful, comforting, fulfilling relationship with them. It won’t be easy, but we have nothing else to lose by trying. Do we? Below are a few ideas that have worked for me, and which may help you begin to rebuild your relationship with your child.
Conversations with Your Child
Talk to and visualise your child as if they were still here with you, every day, at any time -because they are, and they hear us. Allow yourself to hear the messages, to have conversations with him or her. Make a conscious effort to recognise the signs your child sends you, as they work very hard to let us know that they are still with us. Try to push aside any doubts that your conscious mind may have regarding whether the conversations, the messages and the signs are just a product of your imagination. The more you do this, the easier it will be, and the more sensitive you will become to this new form of communication.
Auto-Suggestions
Writing, learning and repeating to yourself certain auto-suggestions or self-hypnosis mantras can reinforce the ideas contained in them in your mind, so that you can begin to fully believe them.
Sit down quietly, take a few deep breaths and write your own auto-suggestions. You can also record them on your phone or computer, and you can play them to yourself.
Repeat these auto-suggestions to yourself every day, morning and evening, or as often as it feels comfortable. Repetition is the key to overcoming the objections of your conscious mind. It can take at least a month for a major shift to occur.
Examples of Auto-Suggestions:
(Child’s name) is happy and well. He/she is just a breath away, within the spirit realm. My loved ones (father, mother, grandparents, friends, etc. who have crossed over) are taking care of him/her.
(Child’s name) is still with me, always around me, aware of my life.
I can feel (Child’s name) around me, all the time. I can communicate with him/her, and I can recognise the signs he/she sends me.
I can still have a meaningful, comforting, fulfilling relationship with (Child’s name).
Meditation, Visualisation and Active Dreaming
Learning to quieten your conscious mind, to allow your subconscious and your higher self to become attuned to the spirit realm, will help you become sensitised and recognise the presence of your child more easily.
Set yourself achievable goals. Try to meditate at a set time of the day, to make an appointment with Spirit. Light some candles, burn some incense or essential oils. Sit quietly -or lie down if you are able to stay awake- close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath. Breathe deeply and gently, allowing your abdomen to expand as you inhale and to contract as you exhale. Do this for a few minutes. You may feel the need to increase the time little by little, as you begin to see the benefits of this practice.
If you have trouble quietening your mind -I do-, you can listen to a recorded meditation which begins with deep relaxation, followed by a guided visualisation of a visitation with your child. Allow yourself to see, hear, touch, and especially to feel all the emotions this beautiful experience will arise.
I have listened to many recorded meditations. Some of them were better than others, but none of them were good enough to facilitate a good connection with my son. For this reason, I decided to create a ‘Reconnexion’ Meditation specifically for us bereaved parents.
I have recorded three different versions for parents who have a son, a daughter or more than one child in spirit. Each version is bundled into a download package which includes an introduction, a meditation to do during the day, and one to listen to at bedtime to aid lucid dreaming about your child while you sleep.
The 3 different packages will be available soon for download.
I would be very interested in your meditation package to help connect with my daughter Grace. She was killed 7 months ago in a hit and run car accident at age 14. My friend Irene Vouvalides, she started and leads the HPH in Bluffton/Hilton Head, Sc, shared your website with me tonight. I read as much as I can to help me on this journey…I feel Grace’s presence everyday…but I do have doubts creep in causing me to question my sanity at times. I definitely think your meditations would help me heal as I continue this lifelong journey.
Dear Heidi
Sorry it’s taken me a few days to reply to your message. I’m just learning to navigate this project and I hadn’t seen it. I will add you to my list and I will notify you when the meditation becomes available, probably in the New Year. I have the scripts ready, but I still have to record it with professional quality. I shared a version of it on my first HPH meeting in Guildford which Elizabeth attended with her family, and I have recorded a draft version which I listen to most nights. I get a lot of comfort out of it, and it helps me have more lucid dreams of my son. I really want to share it with other parents. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. Let me tell you that we all question our own sanity at times, but I need to continue to push doubts aside so that I can allow myself to continue to feel my son’s presence. We are all in this together. Thankfully, in this interconnected World we live in, distance is no issue. Much love to you, and thank Irene. I look forward to meeting her and many other US mums in person, maybe next year in the HPH conference. Much love to you, Marta
Thank you for adding me to your group. I lost my son Ethan, Feb. 11, 2015. He was 21..
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your precious Ethan, Sandra. I hope you’ll find some comfort in the resources and support that I will continue to provide. A big hug <3
Dear Marta
I thought I would let you know that I have been doing some meditations, and using the pendulum with such good results. Claire comes through so easily and I have dreamt of her, following one of these sessions. I try not do it every night, as I have this thought (perhaps, wrongfully and in guilt) that I should not be calling her back..but I will continue to pursue this path.
I was just looking out of the window today into my garden and thought I saw a white butterfly on a tree. I walked slowly to it and saw it was a white feather.. …!! I took a photo.
This a part of myself that I don’t share with some non-bereaved friends, but it an essential part of me; to be close to my dearest darling daughter Claire. Thank you for setting this up. Love and big hugs..xx
I’m so very glad this is helping you, Marie, and so grateful to Lynn for sharing this technique to communicate with our children with us. I believe there’s no reason for you to feel guilty about calling Claire back. I think they choose to ‘speak’ to us out of love, and that they can do many things concurrently, as time and space don’t exist where they are. Thank you for sharing this with us here. Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter, With so much love, Marta