We can’t have the relationship we would like to have with our children anymore, but we can try to still have a meaningful, comforting, fulfilling relationship with them. It won’t be easy, but we have nothing else to lose by trying. Do we? Below are a few ideas that have worked for me, and which may help you begin to rebuild your relationship with your child.

Conversations with Your Child

Talk to and visualise your child as if they were still here with you, every day, at any time -because they are, and they hear us. Allow yourself to hear the messages, to have conversations with him or her. Make a conscious effort to recognise the signs your child sends you, as they work very hard to let us know that they are still with us. Try to push aside any doubts that your conscious mind may have regarding whether the conversations, the messages and the signs are just a product of your imagination. The more you do this, the easier it will be, and the more sensitive you will become to this new form of communication.


Writing, learning and repeating to yourself certain auto-suggestions or self-hypnosis mantras can reinforce the ideas contained in them in your mind, so that you can begin to fully believe them.

Sit down quietly, take a few deep breaths and write your own auto-suggestions. You can also record them on your phone or computer, and you can play them to yourself.

Repeat these auto-suggestions to yourself every day, morning and evening, or as often as it feels comfortable. Repetition is the key to overcoming the objections of your conscious mind. It can take at least a month for a major shift to occur.

Examples of Auto-Suggestions:

(Child’s name) is happy and well. He/she is just a breath away, within the spirit realm. My loved ones (father, mother, grandparents, friends, etc. who have crossed over) are taking care of him/her.

(Child’s name) is still with me, always around me, aware of my life.

I can feel (Child’s name) around me, all the time. I can communicate with him/her, and I can recognise the signs he/she sends me.

I can still have a meaningful, comforting, fulfilling relationship with (Child’s name).

Meditation, Visualisation and Active Dreaming

Learning to quieten your conscious mind, to allow your subconscious and your higher self to become attuned to the spirit realm, will help you become sensitised and recognise the presence of your child more easily.

Set yourself achievable goals. Try to meditate at a set time of the day, to make an appointment with Spirit. Light some candles, burn some incense or essential oils. Sit quietly -or lie down if you are able to stay awake- close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath. Breathe deeply and gently, allowing your abdomen to expand as you inhale and to contract as you exhale. Do this for a few minutes. You may feel the need to increase the time little by little, as you begin to see the benefits of this practice.

If you have trouble quietening your mind -I do-, you can listen to a recorded meditation which begins with deep relaxation, followed by a guided visualisation of a visitation with your child. Allow yourself to see, hear, touch, and especially to feel all the emotions this beautiful experience will arise.

I have listened to many recorded meditations. Some of them were better than others, but none of them were good enough to facilitate a good connection with my son. For this reason, I decided to create a ‘Reconnexion’ Meditation specifically for us bereaved parents.

I have recorded three different versions for parents who have a son, a daughter or more than one child in spirit. Each version is bundled into a download package which includes an introduction, a meditation to do during the day, and one to listen to at bedtime to aid lucid dreaming about your child while you sleep.

The 3 different packages will be available soon for download.